Dad: Do you have the car? Are we going home?
Me: No, we can’t go home. You’re in the hospital.
Dad: Oh. When are we going to go?
Me: I’m not sure. We have to find a place for you to rehab.
Dad: Can we go home. Where’s your car?
Me: Dad, we aren’t going to be able to go. Mom’s fine. Do you remember Marigold Place where you live?
Dad: Yes. But I have to find your mother.
Me: She’s fine. I just got back from Marigold. Darlene is with her now.
Dad: Shouldn’t we go?
Me: No, Dad. We can’t go.
These are how conversations go this week. Dad wakes up and is determined to go. Then when I’m not there, he is pulling off the hospital devices and doing his best to flee.
Melinda and Wes arrive with a video of my nephew, Chris, leading worship. Emotions heighten and settle. The walk into the future appears dark, foreboding and mysterious.
I get in the car exhausted wondering how I’ll get up in the morning and deal with all of this again. and again… and again… Same questions, confusion, and grief… We are beginning to understand the profound nature of dementia and Alzheimer’s. It is a kick in the gut but there are amazing epiphanies. Whenever I get into the car it seems my iPhone connects with the bluetooth and I never know what song it will choose to play. Totally random selections. Sometimes it’s the Beatles, other times, Hillsong, or the Weepies. I have a thousand songs on the cloud. But tonight the song my iphone chooses reminded me of the mysterious presence and dare I say, wink of God: Jesus I am resting, resting…
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 11:28 MSG